This Modern World

I'm having trouble deciding if the ersatz Time magazine cover in this Tom Tomorrow cartoon (you may have to look at an ad to view this) is more or less horrifying then the actual image it mocks. Tom's work, as always, draws a little blood, yet, it's delicious.

Idiot watch

More scientific progress is being had with the simple step of appointing advisors friendly to industry.

:"After Bush took office, the board replaced Lamphear and several others on the panel with scientists friendly to the lead industry. The panel decided against lowering the blood level of lead at which children are considered to be poisoned.

In other stupidity news, Michael Shermer writes about 9/11 conspiracy nuts, who will remain unlinked here, including theories that the two towers were brought down by demolition crews, that the flight into the Pentagon was really a missile, and the inevitable attempt by some of the mentally challenged to blame the Jews for it all. With a small amount of effort, they tinfoil hat types could have done some research but Michael does it for them

For example, according to www.911research.wtc7.net, steel melts at a temperature of 2,777 degrees Fahrenheit, but jet fuel burns at only 1,517 degrees F. No melted steel, no collapsed towers. "The planes did not bring those towers down; bombs did," says [web site redacted - J]. Wrong. In an article in the Journal of the Minerals, Metals, and Materials Society and in subsequent interviews, Thomas Eagar, an engineering professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, explains why: steel loses 50 percent of its strength at 1,200 degrees F; 90,000 liters of jet fuel ignited other combustible materials such as rugs, curtains, furniture and paper, which continued burning after the jet fuel was exhausted, raising temperatures above 1,400 degrees F and spreading the inferno throughout each building

.

Finally, I noticed on the Kansas State Historical Society page, that early peoples lived there circa 10,000 B.C. Perhaps the fools trying to roll back time and pretend like Charles Darwin never evolved will force them to say this is also "just a theory". If they're going to keep trying to toss evolution out of classrooms there's no reason to substitute religion in it's place. How about teaching Robert Blake-ism instead? "Did the hand that made the lamb make thee? Design an experiment to test this hypothesis."

Memorial bridge and monument photos

M_ and I visited the aforementioned Veteran's Memorial Bridge here in Cleveland - or rather, the lower level which is not usually open. The views from there are interesting, so I put up a photo page which also includes some shots from early this year of the Soldier's and Sailor's Monument in Public Square. Worthwhile weekend to recall that stone and steel is all that remains to recall many veterans. A few thumbnails (link is above).

Last rites

The courts down under have ruled that a woman can't use her dead husband's sperm (though since he's not using it anymore, I can't see why not). They claimed it was because he had not given consent to such a procedure, which makes me think I probably should give consent in advance - in case the train should fall into the Cuyahoga - of my death.

I'd like to say that if I am dead, that any cell of mine can be used for scientific research. I'd even approve of the creation of a race of half-human, half-monkey trombonists, because if this blog or my yet-undone-novel don't pan out, it may be my only claim to future acclaim.

Later Grafs

This story: points out how the feds worry that terrorists on planes might use cell phones. However, a later graf mentions

During Sept. 11, 2001 attacks, passengers and crew on the hijacked planes used cell phones as well as phones embedded in the seats to call for help and talk to loved ones.

Also this helped authorities realize what the hell was happening on the planes. Once again, they underestimate the power of putting information disbursement in the hands of the many. Were that policy was set based on reality, and not on the meanderings of little minds in middle management somewhere. Look also to the D.C. sniper case, where they were caught when a description was sent out to the general public. In the 9/11 case, though, the facts stand in opposition to the Fed's current version of reality.

Why so quiet, oh yappy creature?

I know I've posted less this year, and the reasons are somewhat scattered. It's not so much that I don't have anything to say...it's just I'm trying to wait until I have something interesting to say about first.

In other news, word of my increased quiet has caused most of Nova Scotia's populace to flee for the hills, fearing it's a sign of the End of Times.

Jelly Beans

Here's a summary of Hamlet best not read whilst drinking a beverage:

Shakespeare conveyed his characters' thoughts by having them make asides, moments where they spoke directly to the audience, openly revealing their inmost thoughts. "Should I kill my uncle and sleep with his wife? What is life all about, anyway? I wonder how many jellybeans I could fit in my mouth?"

(source: Star Wars Sources).

Underworld?

Tomorrow (in Cleveland) there will be a tour on the lower level of the Detroit-Superior bridge. Will there be wonders to behold? Just some old bottles, as in Geraldo Rivera and Al Capone's vault? Which is not as bad as waiting out most of a TV season capped off by two hours to find out that a hatch leads down a tunnel, J.J. Abrams* . Back in Cleveland, the tour is free, self-guided, and starts around West 25th and Detroit per the PeeDee story.

* Jen, of Very Big Blog says it better:

And the hatch is damaged... and.... and... a ladder to... DAMN IT!

Quibble

Instapundit's Glenn Reynolds comments on the fact that the Washington Post did not place a fact - that a GitMo detainee apparently recanted claiming the Koran was harmed - that he and Michele Malkin considered significant in a high-enough paragraph. Because we all know that rioters in Pakistan only read the first five grafs of Washington Post stories, then run for their torches and American flags to burn. Besides being both he and Malkin agreeing that if they had written the story they would have put what facts they liked in higher prominence, Glenn closes the thought by saying "Tom Maguire, meanwhile, notes another omission that seems rather striking." Another omission, as in the Post placing the sentence Glenn approved of lower than other sentences is the same as if it never reported it at all. Hopefully my placing it in the first sentence is good enough.

Plan your summer

Cleveland's non-banal weekly, The Free Times, has a list of summer festivals, many of them free. Good for those of us wanting something inexpensive to do this summer, question though you might whether I venture out into the sun.

PeeDee on Filibuster

Shorter Cleveland PeeDee opinion : The judicial nominees went to law schools, so vote.

The complaint that the filibuster is undemocractic is meaningless. So is the electoral college, having two Senators per state rather than basing it on population numbers, ad naseum. Claiming that getting rid of it is a "Constitutional Option" is somewhat true in that the Senate gets to make it's own rules according to the constitution. But since it gets to make it's own rules, then keeping the filibuster as it is is equally constitutional. I guess Frist et al just wanted put the word "Constitution" behind their point of view as sounds sexier. On that note, I would henceforth like to be known as "The Handsomer than Brad Pitt" blogger.

Information or not so much?

bin Laden on the run?

'Osama bin Laden is alive and moving around from place to place, but not with a large group of people,' Kasuri was quoted as saying in the English-language newspaper The News.

It's amazing how much info they have on this man they can't catch or even get near. As I often read in comment threads on other blogs, "I call bullshit on this".

Random thoughts

Random thoughts

Emails that sound dirty but really aren't:

Hot New Favorites - from the Animal Rescue Site


The Observer has posted a list of the 50 things one who loves food should do before the final table is cleared, so to speak. I ate at a French Laundry in Michigan - not sure if it's related to the one they mention at #6. I have to take issue with the cavalier advice in #9 to pick your own mushrooms - only safe if you are an expert, unless you are truly certain this will be your last meal! #11 is "Make love in a vinyard". This doesn't seem to be something directly related to food - just doing something you enjoy near to where food related items are produced. I might suggest for the shy among us to play a musical instrument in a vinyard.

Shock: Democracy Guy likes Democracy

Tim Russo of the Democracy Guy blog takes the Instapundit to task for going easy on a current US ally, Uzbekistan.

Glenn's website has been a crowing cheerleader of every single other revolution that has passed in the last few months. I've cheered right along with him, but on this one, he is wildly off base.

To say the least. I guess he's only pro-revolutions-approved-by-the-US-that-require-us-to-do-nothing. Tim says more in his piece, so by all means - "read the whole thing".

Monkeys - our tree-dwelling (very) distant cousins

Lawrence Krauss has some words of wisdom on the so-called "Intelligent Design" debate in a NY Times column (free registration required to read through).

Students are completely free to make up their own minds, in any case. What is at issue is whether they will be taught the science that should allow them to make an informed judgment. But impugning the substance of the science, or requiring the introduction of essentially theological ideas like 'intelligent design' into the curriculum, merely muddies the water by imposing theological speculations on a scientific theory. Evolution, like Lemaître's Big Bang, is itself 'entirely outside of any metaphysical or religious question.'

The Discovery Institute, which promotes 'intelligent design,' a newer version of creationism, argues that schools should 'Teach the Controversy.' But there is no scientific controversy.

Dr. Krauss is a little kinder that I am to backers of "Intelligent Design". The backers of ID "theory" want to sneak a religious idea into science classrooms while not addressing it's religiosity. It's interesting to think they are basically inheritors of those initially disturbed by the implications of what Darwin determined. They'd like science tossed aside - leaving room for little but creationism in a fancy dress - whilst disregarding most of the knowledge learned about evolution, and not allowing the scientific process to pick away at the idea that there must be a creator. If they want religion and science in the same arena, one must become scientific - in which case it will find little evidence - or the other must become theological - in which case it ceases to be useful. I must also conclude that as evolution has been around as an idea since the mid-19th century, any politician claiming that it "says we are descended from monkeys" not be given a pass, and a conclusion be made - self-evident though it may be - that they are posturing idiots.

Atkinson book makes a good case

The Litblog Co-op has named a Read this! winner in the form of Kate Atkinson's Case Histories. I've read it as well and think that like Behind the Scenes at the Museum, the writing is so good it makes it hard to read any non-Atkinson crafted sentences for a while afterwards.

Which is better, serious news or parody?

There's something awfully familiar here. Channel 5 here in Cleveland does an piece on how stores do not check credit card signatures and are, shocked, shocked at what's happening. But it all seemed so familiar somehow. Was this another case of the local news giving us "stories" like "don't feed your children paint chips - the hidden danger"? Something so obvious it hardly bears mention on the news? No, that wasn't it. Ah yes, now I remember where I saw a much better written bit on this same idea. John Hargrave at Zug had done this credit card investigation before - he even signed his credit card receipt with heiroglyphs and no one noticed. His - much funnier - story is here.

Mel's play gives me some ideas

Mel, of Life Cycle of a Fruit Fly, contemplates visiting herself at age 15.

The problem I might have in such a case - other than a desire to not break the immutable laws of physics - is getting the younger me to pay attention. I can't speak for the whole of humanity, but whenever a group-up instructed me to listen to something they were going to stay, I paid attention for an average of 2.3 seconds per speech. Ah, the days of living as a kid before the current love of drugging our youth into bland, quiet, sameness.

Since I know I'd forget it all, my only option would be to prepare a list of things to watch out for over the coming years:

- Don’t wear the Greek fisherman's cap to the Halloween picture. Your wife will never let you live it down
- Pack up all the boxed war games, and cardboard counters. They’ll be practically extinct in 20 years, and there will be no one to play against
- Invest every penny you have into a little operation called Microsoft
- Take a break from tech stocks in 2000
- Avoid Twin Peaks
- If you saved the money you spend renting video games, you could probably meet a real person named Zelda and take her out for a lovely evening for a few hundred nights in a row.
- Play more chess against your uncle
- It may be tempting to eat coffee grounds to stay up and finish a term paper, to "see what it's like". Don't.
- Do not - as an attempt to create some sarcastic physical comedy - snort sugar. For one thing, I'm not sure there is such a thing as sarcastic physical comedy.
- Write down the entire inane saying you put on the band room blackboard, and save them for blog-filler in the 21st century.
- Sushi is amazing.
- Do not buy any article of clothing that can be described as a duster.
- Replace all your self-deprecating humour with musical parody. People won't hate it less, but it'll leave you feeling better.
- No one anywhere knows what the hell an X-Ring is, but they know $500 is too much for one
- Deck shoes are already out by the time they reach Nova Scotia
- See if you can find M_ earlier in the 90's.

Bound to be a Holy Book

I know news stories are support to have the most important parts at the top, the so-called-pyramid. I also note, as I have before, that unless it's three dimensional, it's a triangle, kids. But sometimes the most interesting part of a story is a little farther down, like in this coverage of Muslim reaction to the recent Newsweek retraction about a story of US interrogators at Gitmo supposedly flushing a Koran down a toilet. Reuters reports:

Aman was the leader of a group of clerics who Sunday vowed to call for a holy war against the United States in three days unless it handed over the military interrogators reported to have desecrated the Koran.

Hand over US troops to angry mobs in Pakistan? Now there's a reasonable thought. I don't know if a Koran was flushed or not, but one can't help but wonder if apologies would be recognized by those described by Aman as "illiterate peasants". Actually, he says, "average illiterate peasants", and perhaps he should contemplate that illiteracy being an average condition is a more pressing problem than toilet contents in Cuba. I might be tempted to point out that many Americans consider their flag sacred, and I guess it's a good thing no one in Pakistan has ever harmed an American flag or else this conflict might escalate. Or perhaps the attribution of mystical qualities that deserve worship on books is a bad thing unto itself. Just for the record, if someone in Asia destroys a copy of Lord of the Rings, I promise in advance to hold no angry protests or issue calls for death. Peace starts with one person, they say.

Had to be said

Looks like someone called in with a finger tip.

It's black and white

Patricia at the irreplacable Oboeinsight, blogs that her orchestra is considering not going in black at all times, and adding some colour to what they wear. I present the following as evidence dealing with the colour of musician's attire that they should run screaming from this idea:



B&W


Colour

Jibber Jabber rat-a-tat-tat

Adam could use some better luck - first he gets a new computer, saving $500 - then he may have to to pay up to $500 for medical tests. The solution is obvious - he should replace his spleen with a computer.

Mike Deneed asks "is anyone else getting bored with Roldo's endless attacks on Gateway?" (source: Steve Fitzgerald's Lakewood Life). Answer: No. Some ideas are so bad that even if we complained about them until the last star in the universe exhausted it's fuel leaving gravity as the only remaining thing moving in all of reality, Gateway would still suck. As always, Roldo is paying attention. If the Plain Dealer published stuff like that, maybe people wouldn't be so hard on it.

Call me crazy, but I don't think Tulsa putting gay-themed books in a special, hard to access section will stop gay Okie boys and girls from growing up gay. Despite the Tulsa people's rationale, If someone had kept Playboy from me as a child, I still wouldn't be attracted to Orlando Bloom.

I've only lived in Ohio since '98, so I wasn't here when he was Mayor of Cleveland, but I have to agree with Norbizness that Voinivich is - no offense intended - a bitch. He ain't no Joseph "Have you no decency, sir, at long last?" Welch.

Every sperm is sacred? Not yet, but just wait. On a related note, I often wonder why there isn't more bleedover between anti-gun control groups and pro-choice groups, both objecting to the government wanting to have a hand in your holter or pants, respectively. A friend of mine - who has used a gun to defend herself - often had anti-abortion protesters attempt to push her into traffic when she tried to escort women to family planning clinics. I have in my mind a scene where someone can say the words "Don't bring a fetus placard to a gun fight.".

Vodkapundit wonders why he does not have more allies in his stance on the War on Terror. There may be those of us who want to defend our way of life, but that doesn't mean we have to cover our eyes to incompetence. Nail clippers? Making fuzzy references to Iraq and 9/11? Haliburton? I find it all revolting. For the record, I don't much care for Noam Chomsky either, but I'll leave him and Ayn Rand to those post-grad types that find comfort in either. If we're going to look back to America's founders for guidance, there are other schools of thought as well

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.

- Ben Franklin

citation.

Deadly Papercuts

Harry Tuttle: Bloody paperwork. Huh! Sam Lowry: I suppose one has to expect a certain amount. Harry Tuttle: Why? I came into this game for the action, the excitement. Go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there's trouble, a man alone. Now they got the whole country sectioned off, you can't make a move without a form.

from the film Brazil (1986) Mel, of The Life Cycle of a Fruit Fly, has some paperwork headaches making her want to tear her hair - she had tax problems that seem to have her owing 10 grand - at first.

In other news, the administration is likely to sign off on the Real ID provision tacked on to an Iraq War spending bill. Doubtless this will go down in history as a great anti-Terror tool, right up there with ticket agents asking if people have always been in possession of their luggage, and seizing Swiss army knives in terms of protecting us from flaming, nasty, death. It's amazing how well forms and questions intoned by zombie-like, low-paid airport workers can stop scheming terrorists. And thanks also, the people who came up with the idea of embedding all my personal info into an RFID chip on a passport. That'll work out well.Good thing no one exploited the last security "Fort Knox" of info, the Social Security Number for illegal reasons either. Great ideas all around, I wonder how that will work out. Let me know, I'm real curious.

But back to paperwork and the wounds it inflicts...let me think over the seven deadliest sins I've been bended, mutilated, and spindled by...

Greed As with the aforelinked Mel (above), I also went to a professional tax prep service for several years. I had to pay for a "premium" service since at the time I was working on a Visa. Premium service included such perks as charging more than double when I filed jointly with my wife, hiring an accounting who only worked in the office at tax time, spending the rest of his year at what I can assume was a senior residence or perhaps a hospice. I was especially please when after paying my special 'you're-Canadian-this-is-so-complex-for-taxes-here-in-the-US' fee, they marked down my tax return as being from a US Citizen. Not to worry though, blanche, I pay just as much no matter from whence I sprang.

Gluttony In becoming a permanent resident, we retained a lawyer who for the low, low price of five thousand dollars. We wanted to make sure no mistake - no matter how small - was made. They managed to scarf down our cash and mark down on forms they sent to the INS that I was born on February 13th, 2003. Bit of a child-groom, I was.

Pride Whilst filling out the forests of paperwork for a mortgage, we also paid a premium to make sure every bit of info was right. M_ was most displeased to see that they listed her as having only a high school education, seeing as she has a Master's. Suddenly, on paper only, I was more overeducated than her.

SlothWe bought our house in the Spring of 2003 - only to shortly thereafter be told by the Lakewood inspector of sidewalks that we had to pay hundreds to have our sidewalks repaired. The time of the inspection? 2002. Now the former owner would have had to disclose that he had a pending repair like this, but the sidewalk department was too lazy to send the notice about the repairs until right after we closed, many months later. A cynic would say they waited till someone new moved in to screw us over - especially if you try to walk down our street and note the many crater like sidewalks going in askance of repair - but I've decided to eschew cynicism.

Lust Although this isn't technically paperwork, long ago when I was not married I tried online dating services, only to find one first date who informed me she wasn't actually looking for "dating/long term relationship" as she had checked off on her profile, but they had no option for "husband in France, bored".

Envy this is an old complaint, but bitter I shall always be about it. In my Grade 9 yearbook form, I was asked to list "Desired Future Profession" and "Actual Future Profession". I listed "World Leader" and "Cannon Fodder" respectively. the editor saw fit to change the latter to "Cannon Loader" - which I might add, makes no sense - forever making me distrustful of editors. I think they didn't want me to have the best lines. I noted that they did allow in two separate people whose favourite sayings were, respectively, "Shut up Jerry" and "Shut up Ritcey".

Wrath Once, when crossing the border, an INS agent named Smith (or so he said) seemed to take a particular dislike to me. He couldn't do anything legal, but little did I know he put down a flag in the computer to mark me as "armed and dangerous"- if which I have been neither. So the next time I crossed, I had the fun of being checked for weapons and treated like a pale, atheistic Cat Stevens. When they figured out that I was unarmed and mostly harmless, they let me go and I overheard those words that I now take to heart "never leave a paper trail".

As many papers as one can read

Slate's "Today's Papers" column is an valuable tool to compare how the big national papers cover the news. Eric Umansky notes the difference between the LA Times - which is on the scene for a battle in Iraq - and the rest of the papers covering the battle from Baghdad.

With their reporters presumably stuck in Baghdad, the other papers basically channel military spokesmen accounts. Skepticism does not abound, nor does careful sourcing. "MARINES KILL 100 FIGHTERS IN SANCTUARY NEAR SYRIA," announces the Post. That figure has issues. As you might notice, most of the papers' stories actually cite "as many as" 100 insurgents killed. (Kind of like TP is "as much as" 6ft. tall). Then turn to the LAT, which quotes the commander in the field puzzling over the hundred figure and saying "a couple of dozen" insurgents were probably killed.

Some have complained that most papers are covering Iraq and ignoring good news - I'd settle for them covering actual information instead of spin.

Chewing the Scene-ery

So one of the two "local" weeklies, Cleveland Scene takes a few passing shots at blogs in it's gossip column this week. They seem to want to dismiss them as irrelevant and consist of uninteresting writing. They even picked on a brand new blog by Adam of Organic Mechanic called Tremonter - named for a hip neighbourhood on the West side of Cleveland.

Now a cynic might wonder why a newsweekly is bothering to harangue a blog. Could it be they fear that their weekly paper could be outpaced by blogs updates several times a day? Could they worry that reviews of restaurants and hangout news about Tremont would mean people can read it all online? Because of it's small article format, it can cover with far more granularity than they can? Or could it be that Tremonter and many other blogs run without giant ads for hand-job joints in Warren in between pity articles on Tremont eateries? Could it be that ad-free web sites might be a place people turn for info on local places, people, and thought before Cleveland Scene? Could it be when people think of how this magazine’s corporate upper levels decided to cut a deal to eliminate the previous incarnation of the Free times here in town, that they are not so much what you would call truly local? At least they seem to have removed the absolutely pointless and constant Free Times bashing they had in the gossip column when their competitor re-emerged.

The aforementioned Scene article also took shots at Shannon of Soupfork.com:

Shannon, from soupfork.com, lamented about a friend who sent her father to buy Good Charlotte tickets, only to discover he accidentally picked up Green Day tickets instead.

This just in: Green Day is so two months ago.

This just in, Cleveland Scene, you're covering Green Day in the same issue as this bitchy column. This just in as well: bitching about blogs is so two years ago.

The monkey in the next cubicle is a pain

Apparently people working in offices in New Delhi have access to an excuse that I can't use here

Meanwhile, the city is also infested with thousands of monkeys blamed for attacking people and stealing medicine from hospitals and files from government offices.

(source). My fear is not so much the monkey infestation, but what exactly are they planning with the medicine and files?

Scallops, tears, face-stabbings, and how they relate to Friendship

Found a friend from High School that has her own blog who shares my love of the show Lost. Must be a shared like of things dipped lightly in sci-fi and fried with ambiguity. I wonder if it's actually easier to keep in touch with far-away friends via blogs than email at times? I have not been such a great one for keeping up ties to high school - I could count the people I am still in touch with on one hand even if my limbs were savaged in a combine accident.

This all made me recall a conversation with R_ (who, as far as I can tell, blogs not) where he was horrified at my days as a trombonist in high school. I was assigned to lead trombone practice, and somehow did not have the full attention of the gang - owing either to high schoolish anarchistic tendencies or the fact I took a high school band practice far too seriously. As noted on my neo-bio page to the right, I made one person cry. R_ said he felt like stabbing me in the face when he read that. However, he tends to say he's stab people in the face for offenses like talking on cell phones, and ordering scallops so I took it as rather more mild admonishment then it might seem on this unprinted page.

I was left to conclude that relationships sometimes hang by tenuous threads, I was unbearable roughly from 1983-87, I hereby apologize to K_ (the one who cried at the practice), and that Nova Scotia still contains both old friends of mine and the best scallops that God ever caused to evolve.

Time Traveler's Convention (tip not included)

MIT is having a Time Traveler's Convention. They're asking people to publlicize it so that visitors from the future will hear about it and be encouraged to attend. They're also asking such technologically advanced folks to bring their own refreshments. I think that if time travel ever did become possible, and records from our time survive until then, they are likely to skip said event on that basis alone. Ancient Rome? You're guaranteed figs til you puke.

Out with Scientific American, in with B.C.?

May 5th will be the National Day of Reason, set up as a counterbalance to the National Day of Prayer. Although I am not too sure of efficacy of using reason with people looking for mystical signs in rocks and salt stains, or my personal favourite, a roasting pan:

People are telling me they'll never do their dishes again.

Finally a religious justification. Perhaps such events give us insight into the advent of religions in general, as man struggles with mighty questions such as why did the bacon fat in this pan burn to look like that? Although what with rationality and science having problems like the Paradox of the Ravens one is tempted to abandon them in favour of scouring pans that not been scoured for images resembling anyone. With such scientific minds as Wiley of B.C. calling Charles Darwin a fool, who am I not to obey such high-minded thinkers. On a serious note, I'm never sure if those opposed to evolution want to critique it from a scientific standpoint (they seem to be on shaky ground) or would juswt prefer we all pretended the last 150+ years of biological science did not occur, and call a sort of knowledge "mulligan" whilst they decide, scribbling on stone tablets, what information it is correct to know.