After a horrific attack on a hiker
in Alberta, CBC put up a some tips for dealing with bears
. Though I cannot recall where I read them first, the only two maxims I think are of use when it comes to bears are #1. When in bear country, do not go out without a gun as big as your leg and #2. A bear can kill a person with ease - give them a wide berth.
But let's look at a few snippets what the CBC says:
;If you spot a bear at a distance and can get away without it noticing you, do it. Quietly. Shouting at or attempting to scare away a bear that is unaware of you could provoke an attack.
I find the same is true when encountering middle managers
If you spot a bear and can't leave the area without the bear spotting you, alert the bear to your presence and do what you can to show it that you're human.
Show off your opposable thumbs? No, monkeys have those as well. Many animals can also build tools...instead I suggest building a Roman-style aqueduct to impress upon the bear your human-like characteristics.
Climbing a tree is sometimes an option, but it doesn't guarantee safety, as was seen in Canmore, Alta., in June 2005. Isabelle Dube climbed a tree to get away from a bear she encountered on a trail. The bear pulled Dube out of the tree and she was killed.
That's the loosest definition of 'doesn't guarantee safety' I've heard in some time.
Do not try to outswim a bear.
I'm picturing those scenes from nature flicks where bears pick out salmon from streams, sometimes in mid-air. Gotcha, no swimming.
Recommended ways to fight back with a black bear or a grizzly that regards you as prey:
* Act aggressively.
* Defend yourself with whatever is available - baseball bat, rake, tent pole, axe, anything.
* Try to appear dominant.
Try to appear dominant? I'm thinking leather, a whip, and perhaps a black lace choker, but that may not intimidate so much as disturb the bear.
Bears standing on their hind legs swinging their heads from side to side are trying to pick up scents to determine who you are. Bears do not charge on their hind legs.
Unless - and this is just a hypothesis - they are trying to scare other bears by 'trying to appear human'. If a bear did charage at me on it's hind legs I'd probably fall over laughing, and THEN die. But I think the best advice on Bears comes from Hilaire Belloc's Moral Alphabet:
B stands for Bear. When Bears are seen
Approaching in the distance,
Make up your mind at once between
Retreat and Armed Resistance.
A Gentleman remained to fight.
With what result for him?
The Bear, with unconcealed delight,
Devoured him limb by limb.
Another Person turned and ran.
He ran extremely hard.
The Bear was faster than the Man,
And beat him by a yard.
Decisive Action in the hour of need
Denotes the Hero (but does not succeed).