Random Business Equations

The amount of work a person does is inversely proportional to the amount of time they spend bragging about how hard they work.

Chance that someone is being scammed in a business meeting at Starbucks is increased by 21.5% each time one person mentions how much money someone else - who they do not name - has made in the potential venture.

Each time a person calls you instead of emailing, add 10% to the amount they care about their own time instead of yours, since it's faster to read than to listen.

There is a 94.3% chance that someone who uses the hand sanitizer on your desk when visiting is already sick.

82.1% of bloggers make up things without properly sourcing them.

Overheard on the train, a continuing series

"I stole a ring by accident. I swear, I didn't mean to, I'm not thief, I don't even know how it happened. I was in [a store] and tried on a ring, it didn't have a tag on it. Then I kept shopping, bought some things, and went to the next store. I was browsing and saw I still had the ring on! I totally forgot it was there!"

"So I decided to see if I could steal some other things too, and I can".

"I can tell you how to steal from [lingerie store]. You know how? You just put the stuff on. They aren't gonna check your ass!"

- anonymous, on a train