Archive for April, 2008

Daily Proverb

Tha advantage of your train breaking down is that you do not have to arrange to have it towed.

Add comment April 28th, 2008

Corrections

Very small Stonehenge model
(not the actual Stonehenge)

I used to dwell on how things happened in the past, considering if I could move the great, heavy stones of resentment. Now I’ve become a n A Plus positive fellow, complete with a series of books on tapes on how You Can Remake Your Life.

No, that’s not it.

As I grow older I think less about the past, and am less concerned with remaking it than living in the now. You’ve got to examine the current items in life holy cow what was that noise - almost a car crash look at the way the light in this cubicle is so synthetic it hurts my eyes wonder where I will eat tonight and when my bike will be fixed who’s tapping a pen…

That doesn’t seem right either.

Oh yes, in 1988 or 89 I was too nihilistic and made Lois mad, sorry about that. Her husband had a kick-ass R&B band and got me interested in records by Tower of Power. Sometimes you can look to the past and find mistakes, regrets, good bands, or interestingly arranged old rocks.

Add comment April 23rd, 2008

Daily Proverb

Give a man a trombone, and he’ll nail it to the wall of a chain pub, to be glanced at briefly by thousands of people eating fried chicken bits. Teach a man trombone, and he can work at that same restaurant, trying to make up rent money in between gigs.

Add comment April 23rd, 2008

Daily Proverb

There’s no way to clip an electronic device onto your clothes in a way that looks good.

Add comment April 22nd, 2008

Daily Proverb

“Everyone needs to bring it home on this passage. I want you to come in like gangbusters!”

- Ron MacKay

Add comment April 17th, 2008

Daily Proverb

Even a journey of a thousand miles is actually more like two thousand, since you have to come back again.

Add comment April 16th, 2008

Random screen from the web of the day

Not exactly a hockey picture.
…no.

Add comment April 8th, 2008

Amazon Reviews

…the silent peer pressure of my book group led me to finish the book. You can certainly write a book with unlikeable characters, but to have this dislike spring from their passivity, rather than their actions (yes, yes, taking no action is, in effect, acting, I know), spells disaster for a rambling tome of 540 pages.

(Link)
I’d certainly take a dislike to a character who only finishes book because of peer pressure. Is there a lot of book peer pressure these days? Does the new trotting out stories of people waiting at midnight to buy the latest Harry Potter count as peer pressure? Only if you think they are your peers. And perhaps one can choose peers more carefully…

Add comment April 8th, 2008

Daily Proverb

Airplanes will be safer once they start making all passengers drop bad ideas into large plastic containers as they pass through.

Add comment April 8th, 2008

Bullets

I used to write blog posts with bulleted lists. Everyone was doing it - they even passed around templates, “Movies You have Watched while wearing torn jeans”, “favourite bartenders while sober”, “cats that have seemed condescending towards me”, on the many blogs I’ve read. I decided to make my last bulleted list until the next time I have a list of items to which only bullets apply:

  • In 1988, people wearing pajamas around town were limited to drunken college students. Nowadays, it includes sober high school students.
  • I no longer understand my prior enthusiasm for flavours of ice cream not found in nature
  • Get in the turning lane, already
  • Some of my thoughts trail off like streams in darkened, silent forests only to
  • Emerge later amongst twigs and rocks
  • Few things are as disappointing as Gummi Bears
  • Although I don’t fear heights, I fear looking out over a high cliff, in some lonely, beautiful place, and having no revelations of any kind
  • If I’ve learned one thing from television, it’s that banter can be painful
  • Video games have a direct effect on children. Since Playing Mario as a child, I now attempt to jump on every mushroom I see.
    1. Make a list
    2. Hide it in the pages of the Oxford Dictionary
    3. When you find it in fourteen years, read it
    4. Say to yourself, “what is this?” Shake your head, hand it over to your robot overlord, continue your work burning old books
    5. Think about going out for some imported beers later
    6. Make a list of said beers
  • Make up maxims for use in everyday life “Spoons are the heart of the breakfast”, “don’t crash your bike, it’s something you won’t like”.

Add comment April 7th, 2008

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