Red Wheelbarrow

Bullets

April 7th, 2008

I used to write blog posts with bulleted lists. Everyone was doing it - they even passed around templates, “Movies You have Watched while wearing torn jeans”, “favourite bartenders while sober”, “cats that have seemed condescending towards me”, on the many blogs I’ve read. I decided to make my last bulleted list until the next time I have a list of items to which only bullets apply:

• In 1988, people wearing pajamas around town were limited to drunken college students. Nowadays, it includes sober high school students.
• I no longer understand my prior enthusiasm for flavours of ice cream not found in nature
• Get in the turning lane, already
• Some of my thoughts trail off like streams in darkened, silent forests only to
• Emerge later amongst twigs and rocks
• Few things are as disappointing as Gummi Bears
• Although I don’t fear heights, I fear looking out over a high cliff, in some lonely, beautiful place, and having no revelations of any kind
• If I’ve learned one thing from television, it’s that banter can be painful
• Video games have a direct effect on children. Since Playing Mario as a child, I now attempt to jump on every mushroom I see.
• 1. Make a list
  2. Hide it in the pages of the Oxford Dictionary
  3. When you find it in fourteen years, read it
  4. Say to yourself, “what is this?” Shake your head, hand it over to your robot overlord, continue your work burning old books
  5. Think about going out for some imported beers later
  6. Make a list of said beers
• Make up maxims for use in everyday life “Spoons are the heart of the breakfast”, “don’t crash your bike, it’s something you won’t like”.

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